Monthly Archives: April 2011
Living in a world of shadows
Looking through a glass so dark
Peering out through veiled eyes
Trying to see the spark
Love is Holy
Love is True
Love alone can see us through
Bumping into half blind travelers
Holding out our hands
Fingers tracing scars of darkness
Wounds of living in these lands
And stop to stare
Sight develops as they care
But even though love guides the way
Rocky roads are here to stay
Straining eyes seek love and peace
Jesus Christ to give release
Holding on to faiths sweet darkness
Hope for light to guide the way.
by Jacques Rothmann
Today I deleted some posts from my blog. It’s the first time since starting the blog that I’ve removed something I previously wrote. There are many things on this blog that I’ve written and then changed my mind about. I haven’t deleted these, but allowed them to stand as developments in consciousness and thought. However, over the last few months I took a radical stance on some issues that I’d prefer not to identify with and would dislike others to encounter should they randomly come across a blog post.
Let me explain. I encountered some radical forms of charismatic and mystical expression a few months ago that left me concerned. This concern grew into fear and the fear gave rise to suspicion and doubt, which was then directed towards ever growing spheres of reality connected to the initial concern. It was one of those “A is bad, A is connected to B therefore B is bad” kind of things that soon became an “everything is bad” perspective. Unfortunately the “everything is bad” perspective just doesn’t sit well with my soul and eventually I had to go back and reconsider whether everything really is bad.
I don’t think it is!
I could be wrong, but I just don’t feel like having an “everything is bad” perspective represented on this blog is helpful.
“Then God looked over all he had made, and he saw that it was very good!” Genesis 1:31
I’m keenly aware of God today. Like a warm fire His presence has accompanied me since I left home today. With each breath I feel the joy of Him fill my chest as peace radiates from deep within me. When I stop to feel the fire in my soul it immediately gives rise to praise, and Spirit Songs well up in my gut and like a fountain flow from my throat. It was only during the course of this special morning that I became conscious of the significance of today. And while this makes the experience all the more special, it also reminds me that, thanks to the sacrifice of Jesus every day is Good and every day is Holy. God is not beyond us, He is closer than our very breath, and available to all who seek Him. Thank You Jesus.
God my Only
God you Are
Oh my Jesus
You are Holy
God you Are
So what may have appeared obvious to others for a long time has become clearer to me recently.
In essence much of my struggle has been between various groups who claim Christianity contains external truths that must be believed and defended. Over on the other side of the road we have various groups who consider Christianity to be a more existential, esoteric or spiritual reality that cannot be tied down to concrete dogmas, doctrines, rituals and practices.
While I’ve been going round in circles trying to figure out which brand of Christianity is historically accurate, they’ve been trying to tell me that none of them are.
And you know what…I just might agree with them.
Above, Beyond, Within.
The Hands of God
Caress my soul.
floods my being,
a peaceful stream –
The Fountain of Life.
Glowing Light Within
Rising to my throat
The Sound of Joy.
By Jacques Rothmann
So, here I sit again. Doubting everything I’ve been reflecting on over the last 3 or 4 months.
Once again returning to the path I’ve been on these last 10 years.
Once again exploring mysticism, because without it I feel disconnected from God.
Once again exploring panentheism, because surely God is in everything he has made.
Once again exploring interfaith and ecumenical spirituality, because surely God’s Love and Salvation reach beyond my narrow view.
Once again trying to connect the dots,
calling out for help and asking,
“Lord, you are truth, help me live in truth.”