Why I’m Blogging!

I Love Jesus! I also have a serious problem committing to any one manifestation of his Body. I’m tired of driving myself and my wife crazy with revolving arguments and endless commentary. I’m hoping that by writing down some of my wrestling I will start sensing some movement in this endless struggle with God and His Church. My prayer is that when the morning breaks God will bless me with a new perspective on his Beautiful Bride and my heart can finally find some peace in a Christian Body.



For all those who stumble upon this blog and any of my posts, please understand that this is a work in progress and that I am usually writting about controversial subjects in an attempt to find clarity. This being the nature of the blog I am often defending alternates to mainstream protestant doctrine in an attempt to weigh things. With that in mind I may zealously defend a position in one post only to come to the exact opposite conclusion a week or month down the line.

  1. Hey my Friend,

    This is great! Reading it makes me sad because I wish there was a simple answer to this… God has His way in our hearts despite the chaos and we do, believe it or not, come out of this reality all the stronger – and you do know this. This doesn’t make it any easier and I think the ‘nebulousness’ will be with us till eternity. Thing is, just when you think you’ve fount ‘it’, the Body of Christ (in others), you soon realize that it’s an imperfect form of Christ’s Body. I find as I grow older now that I am having to come to terms with the imperfection and learn to love my fallen fellow human beings unconditionally and trust God to do the rest – my sense is that this is not the issue with ‘us’… the issue is really the loneliness and this is going to be a big part of our experience till we pass on. I miss you my friend and I know what you are feeling because I feel it to every moment of my existence, but God is real and He is doing awesome things and even in others – and even in their imperfection, we just have to stick around long enough and lovingly enough and wait to see His work in their lives and our own. Remember what Jesus said about transformation for the non-conscious – with man it is impossible, but with God it is possible… Love Chris

    • Thanks for your words and heart Chris. I always love hearing from you. I hope you will feel completely free to share in some of this struggle with me as I continue to write about some of my wrestling.

  2. Hi Jacob, stumbled across your blog, via another blog, as is the way of the net. Thought this poem by John Donne may resonate with your struggle:

    Show me, dear Christ, thy Spouse, so bright and clear.
    What! is it She, which on the other shore
    Goes richly painted? or which, robbed and tore,
    Laments and mourns in Germany and here?
    Sleeps she a thousand, then peeps up one year?
    Is she self-truth and errs? now new, now outwore?
    Doth she, and did she, and shall she evermore
    On one, on seven, or on no hill appear?
    Dwells she with us, or like adventuring knights
    First travail we to seek and then make love?
    Betray, kind husband, thy spouse to our sights,
    And let mine amorous soul court thy mild dove,
    Who is most true and pleasing to thee then
    When she’s embraced and open to most men.

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