Today I deleted some posts from my blog. It’s the first time since starting the blog that I’ve removed something I previously wrote. There are many things on this blog that I’ve written and then changed my mind about. I haven’t deleted these, but allowed them to stand as developments in consciousness and thought. However, over the last few months I took a radical stance on some issues that I’d prefer not to identify with and would dislike others to encounter should they randomly come across a blog post.
Let me explain. I encountered some radical forms of charismatic and mystical expression a few months ago that left me concerned. This concern grew into fear and the fear gave rise to suspicion and doubt, which was then directed towards ever growing spheres of reality connected to the initial concern. It was one of those “A is bad, A is connected to B therefore B is bad” kind of things that soon became an “everything is bad” perspective. Unfortunately the “everything is bad” perspective just doesn’t sit well with my soul and eventually I had to go back and reconsider whether everything really is bad.
I don’t think it is!
I could be wrong, but I just don’t feel like having an “everything is bad” perspective represented on this blog is helpful.
“Then God looked over all he had made, and he saw that it was very good!” Genesis 1:31
My heart is burdened.
I know Your love, Your grace, Your patience, Your kindness, Your mercy…
I see all these people around me, so few of them know You, and even those who do seem to be getting themselves into strange places that put their relationship with You in danger.
I find it so hard to judge, but also so easy. But the easiness always gives way to distress and doubt and struggle.
How can so few be chosen, how can Your love not reach them, especially those who carry your name and share Your love with others…I’m confused!